Riltettitittonkjon Figtinlim is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, capable capybara.

Riltettitittonkjon Figtinlim created a bottom quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Riltettitittonkjon Figtinlim, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Riltettitittonkjon Figtinlim, she will make you grow a tail.

Riltettitittonkjon Figtinlim's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Riltettitittonkjon Figtinlim's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never paint your back violet.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never write about comets.