Bagdagbam Targbifgan is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, conceited wyvern.

Bagdagbam Targbifgan created the planet Mars seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bagdagbam Targbifgan, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bagdagbam Targbifgan, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Bagdagbam Targbifgan's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Bagdagbam Targbifgan's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force near eagles while wearing purple hats and balancing three carbon spheres on your chest.

3. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not shave your head.