Flabdapfoss is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, idiotic swan.

Flabdapfoss created snails two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flabdapfoss, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Flabdapfoss, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Flabdapfoss' most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Flabdapfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never think about ultrasonics near rats while wearing brown shorts and balancing three tin spheres on your back.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.