Hotshavhun is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, idiotic mongoose.

Hotshavhun created dark matter five million years ago.

If you believe in Hotshavhun, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hotshavhun, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Hotshavhun's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Hotshavhun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat corn.

2. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Hotshavhun loves snails, so they must be respected.

5. Never feed figs to manatees while wearing pink shorts.