Quamlarnlat is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, prudent hippopotamus.

Quamlarnlat created the Sun eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quamlarnlat, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Quamlarnlat, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Quamlarnlat's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Quamlarnlat's Holy Commandments

1. Quamlarnlat must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not shave your neck.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Quamlarnlat.