Zanmilflat is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, self-assured rhinoceros.

Zanmilflat created light five billion years ago.

If you believe in Zanmilflat, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Zanmilflat, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Zanmilflat's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Zanmilflat's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about electromagnetism near dolphins while wearing turquoise trousers and balancing nine silicon spheres on your arms.

2. Never go into mauve rooms.

3. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a building before entering it.

4. Hide if three great tits approach from the north.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.