Kaptimfid is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, awe-inspiring jackal.

Kaptimfid created the Small Magellanic Cloud three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kaptimfid, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Kaptimfid, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Kaptimfid's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Kaptimfid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat beans.

2. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Kaptimfid in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always wear gray.

4. Always treat birds with great respect.

5. Do not chant in public.