Lintarptam is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unthinking toad.

Lintarptam created Mount Everest six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lintarptam, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Lintarptam, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Lintarptam's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Lintarptam's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Lintarptam in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never wear coats.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.