Lab is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, contented squirrel.

Lab created dark energy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lab, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Lab, it will laugh at you.

Lab's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Lab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. Retreat if five aardvarks approach from the east.

5. You must pray to Lab six times a day.