Vedquamjon Pangquaf is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, moody slug.

Vedquamjon Pangquaf created everything that exists four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vedquamjon Pangquaf, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Vedquamjon Pangquaf, he will send you a sign.

Vedquamjon Pangquaf's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Vedquamjon Pangquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always help frogs in need.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Do not take Vedquamjon Pangquaf's name in vain.

4. Never think about ultrasonics.

5. Never sit near bats.