Yarlstikhon is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, thoughtless ferret.

Yarlstikhon created bats seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarlstikhon, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Yarlstikhon, she will be very unhappy.

Yarlstikhon's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Yarlstikhon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never sit in holy places.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate geese.

5. Do not covet oxen.