Pinloplag Gumfaddot is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, boastful giraffe.

Pinloplag Gumfaddot created oxygen eight million years ago.

If you believe in Pinloplag Gumfaddot, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Pinloplag Gumfaddot, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Pinloplag Gumfaddot's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Pinloplag Gumfaddot's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in violet.

2. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

3. Do not keep three manatees in a large pit.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never think about solid mechanics near turtles while wearing blue dresses and balancing nine iron spheres on your head.