Xuckpigstaf is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, generous penguin.

Xuckpigstaf created the Milkyway four billion years ago.

If you believe in Xuckpigstaf, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Xuckpigstaf, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Xuckpigstaf's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Xuckpigstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about archaea.

2. You must pray to Xuckpigstaf nine times a day.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Always look after injured gulls.