Bissmumgov is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, selfish grasshopper.

Bissmumgov created time and space five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bissmumgov, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bissmumgov, it will turn you into a sheep.

Bissmumgov's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Bissmumgov's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Hide from purple sharks for they are unholy.

3. Never sprint near otters.

4. Always wear green.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.