Fossartzag is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, egotistical bear.

Fossartzag created a photon five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fossartzag, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Fossartzag, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Fossartzag's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Fossartzag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity near horses while wearing magenta kilts.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate squirrels.

3. Never talk about shrews.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not speak about gooseberries.