Lagkaploop is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, benevolent mouse.

Lagkaploop created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lagkaploop, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Lagkaploop, it will turn you into a snail.

Lagkaploop's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Lagkaploop's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about doves.

2. Lagkaploop must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Always help tortoises.

4. Never go into purple rooms.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.