Nancabzed is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, contented whale.

Nancabzed created oxygen nine million years ago.

If you believe in Nancabzed, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Nancabzed, he will destroy your home planet.

Nancabzed's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Nancabzed's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate sharks.

2. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a room before entering it.

3. Never run in the presence of bats.

4. Never hurt aardvarks.

5. Do not hop in public.