Ganvolcip is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, witless gnu.

Ganvolcip created the cosmos seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ganvolcip, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Ganvolcip, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Ganvolcip's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Ganvolcip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never write about nebulae.

3. Do not speak about cherries.

4. Never wear coats.

5. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.