Zedwitloop is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, confident chicken.

Zedwitloop created carbon two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zedwitloop, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Zedwitloop, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Zedwitloop's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Zedwitloop's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear coats.

2. Never talk about electromagnetism near capybaras while wearing orange scarves and balancing six aluminium spheres on your chest.

3. Never think ill of sick mice.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.