Vanlikmum is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, happy cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Vanlikmum created a Higgs boson seven million years ago.

If you believe in Vanlikmum, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Vanlikmum, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Vanlikmum's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Vanlikmum's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Always help ducks.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Vanlikmum.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never go into black rooms.