Flapsasbot is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, all-powerful human.

Flapsasbot created tapeworms six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flapsasbot, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Flapsasbot, he will think nothing of it.

Flapsasbot's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Flapsasbot's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Flapsasbot on top of all buildings.