Flabnursag is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, resourceful armadillo.

Flabnursag created a photon eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flabnursag, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Flabnursag, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Flabnursag's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Flabnursag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not take Flabnursag's name in vain.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity near ants while wearing red jumpers.

4. You must pray to Flabnursag eight times a day.

5. Never write about galaxies.