Larndamlop is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, egotistical grasshopper.

Larndamlop created the cosmos five million years ago.

If you believe in Larndamlop, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Larndamlop, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Larndamlop's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Larndamlop's Holy Commandments

1. Larndamlop loves bats, so they must be respected.

2. Never wear coats.

3. Worship no other gods but Larndamlop.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Larndamlop.