Japzedsak is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, omnipotent weasel.

Japzedsak created the solar system two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Japzedsak, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Japzedsak, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Japzedsak's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Japzedsak's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about cell theory.

2. Do not shave your head.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Japzedsak.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.