Tifkimjen is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, passionate walrus.

Tifkimjen created the Milkyway two billion years ago.

If you believe in Tifkimjen, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tifkimjen, it will destroy your home planet.

Tifkimjen's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Tifkimjen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

2. Do not shave your neck.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Always help tapirs in need.

5. Do not listen to music.