Zantammit Nigfobbit is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, tiresome dragon.

Zantammit Nigfobbit created life six million years ago.

If you believe in Zantammit Nigfobbit, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Zantammit Nigfobbit, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Zantammit Nigfobbit's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Zantammit Nigfobbit's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always help dogs.

3. Always make sure there are no otters in a building before entering it.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Zantammit Nigfobbit.