Farnvogquat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, all-knowing camel.

Farnvogquat created time and space nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Farnvogquat, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Farnvogquat, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Farnvogquat's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Farnvogquat's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Retreat if three eagles approach from the south.

3. Never paint your feet turquoise.

4. Never talk about quantum mechanics near manatees while wearing indigo corsets.

5. Do not stand on grass.