Bastxucpon is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, tranquil wasp.

Bastxucpon created a charm quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bastxucpon, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bastxucpon, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Bastxucpon's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Bastxucpon's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if five frogs approach from the east.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never talk about optics near nematodes while wearing black shirts and balancing six silicon spheres on your feet.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never think about spacetime.