Titmandag Yatpanloop is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, conceited crab.

Titmandag Yatpanloop created a Higgs boson two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Titmandag Yatpanloop, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Titmandag Yatpanloop, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Titmandag Yatpanloop's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Titmandag Yatpanloop's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from pink goats for they are unholy.

2. Always obey Titmandag Yatpanloop's priests.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Titmandag Yatpanloop.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.