Veenfobgetcit is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, unselfish goose.

Veenfobgetcit created parasitic wasps four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Veenfobgetcit, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Veenfobgetcit, he will send you a sign.

Veenfobgetcit's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Veenfobgetcit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Erect a large lead sculpture of Veenfobgetcit on top of all buildings.

3. Never think about spacetime near doves while wearing pink coats and balancing nine carbon spheres on your face.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Veenfobgetcit.

5. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Veenfobgetcit in the centre of the settlement.