Dodquamfut is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, loving salamander.

Dodquamfut created a top quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Dodquamfut, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Dodquamfut, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Dodquamfut's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Dodquamfut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Put Dodquamfut first in all things.

3. You must love Dodquamfut.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never think about solid mechanics near ducks while wearing pink shoes and balancing eight copper spheres on your feet.