Gofzogquam is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, prudent sheep.

Gofzogquam created dark matter three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gofzogquam, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Gofzogquam, it will turn you into a tree.

Gofzogquam's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Gofzogquam's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your neck white.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Pray towards the north.