Somvilsog is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, emotional human.

Somvilsog created the planet Saturn eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Somvilsog, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Somvilsog, it will make you grow a tail.

Somvilsog's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Somvilsog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not drink water in red rooms.

3. Never feed strawberries to great tits while wearing turquoise scarves.

4. Never eat bark.

5. You must love Somvilsog.