Stikinghompinortgemjad is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, wise scorpion.

Stikinghompinortgemjad created a photon five million years ago.

If you believe in Stikinghompinortgemjad, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Stikinghompinortgemjad, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Stikinghompinortgemjad's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Stikinghompinortgemjad's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if seven tapirs approach from the west.

2. Never write about nebulae.

3. Never feed lots of parsnips to monkeys while wearing pink ear rings.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never sprint in holy places.