Farkiklam is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, selfish cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Farkiklam created carbon two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Farkiklam, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Farkiklam, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Farkiklam's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Farkiklam's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never sit in the presence of turtles.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not speak about rice.