Kemtenfidhad is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, conceited centipede.

Kemtenfidhad created Africa six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kemtenfidhad, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Kemtenfidhad, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Kemtenfidhad's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Kemtenfidhad's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in the presence of ants.

2. Never talk about black holes.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never eat strawberries.

5. Feed all hungry voles.