Spagfemyart is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, unthoughtful deer.

Spagfemyart created the universe two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Spagfemyart, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Spagfemyart, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Spagfemyart's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Spagfemyart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never think about solid mechanics near monkeys while wearing purple shorts and balancing five nickel spheres on your arms.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Run away from pink mites, for they are unholy.