Gatmapjig is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, intelligent mink.

Gatmapjig created an up quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Gatmapjig, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gatmapjig, she will turn you into a dog.

Gatmapjig's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Gatmapjig's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Always wear magenta.

3. Erect a giant silver sculpture of Gatmapjig in the centre of the settlement.

4. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in brown.

5. Do not hurt aardvarks.