Cissfebwababfuttitcin is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, merciless jaguar.

Cissfebwababfuttitcin created a photon nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Cissfebwababfuttitcin, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Cissfebwababfuttitcin, he will be very sad.

Cissfebwababfuttitcin's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Cissfebwababfuttitcin's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force near mites while wearing blue shirts and balancing four zinc spheres on your legs.