Tinflanbog is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, two-faced guinea pig.

Tinflanbog created a photon six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tinflanbog, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tinflanbog, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Tinflanbog's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Tinflanbog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear iron on your body.

2. Always obey Tinflanbog's priests.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Tinflanbog on top of all buildings.

5. Never write about stars.