Fedxintalfig is a god.

He takes the form of a small, thoughtless cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Fedxintalfig created the planet Earth two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fedxintalfig, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Fedxintalfig, he will ignore you.

Fedxintalfig's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Fedxintalfig's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. You must never eat nuts.

4. Never talk about electromagnetism near monkeys while wearing fawn scarves and balancing four copper spheres on your chest.

5. Never go into blue rooms.