Bamlargmet is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, compassionate goat.

Bamlargmet created water five million years ago.

If you believe in Bamlargmet, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bamlargmet, it will be very sad.

Bamlargmet's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Bamlargmet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat turnips.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Do not hurt geese.

5. Never feed lots of apples to great tits while wearing pink corsets.