Zigwanvonk is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, vain capybara.

Zigwanvonk created dark matter two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zigwanvonk, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Zigwanvonk, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Zigwanvonk's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Zigwanvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about strawberries.

2. Never paint your arms orange.

3. Zigwanvonk loves goats, so they must be respected.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never wear rings.