Omtfedsom is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, dishonourable newt.

Omtfedsom created water six million years ago.

If you believe in Omtfedsom, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Omtfedsom, he will turn you into a goat.

Omtfedsom's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Omtfedsom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Omtfedsom's name in vain.

2. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Omtfedsom in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never talk about quantum gravity.

5. Always help nematodes in need.