Zigwikbum is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, blissful lobster.

Zigwikbum created the Sol system five billion years ago.

If you believe in Zigwikbum, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Zigwikbum, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Zigwikbum's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Zigwikbum's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Hide from pink ants for they are unholy.

3. Sheep are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Zigwikbum.

5. Never think about optics.