Monbonkvadvig is a god.

She takes the form of a large, slow bee.

Monbonkvadvig created dark energy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Monbonkvadvig, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Monbonkvadvig, she will torture you forever.

Monbonkvadvig's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Monbonkvadvig's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Monbonkvadvig.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never sit in the presence of foxes.

4. Never think about spacetime near tapirs while wearing orange hats and balancing six nickel spheres on your hands.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.