Narlcipbam is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, stupid badger.

Narlcipbam created humankind four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Narlcipbam, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Narlcipbam, he will remove you from existence.

Narlcipbam's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Narlcipbam's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no seals in a room before entering it.

2. Never write about moons.

3. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a building before entering it.

4. You must love Narlcipbam.

5. Never think ill of sick hamsters.