Witwot is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, annoying finch.

Witwot created the planet Venus two million years ago.

If you believe in Witwot, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Witwot, she will turn you into a mouse.

Witwot's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Witwot's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about bacteria.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Worship no other gods but Witwot.

4. Witwot must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not leap in public.