Volsig is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, emotional pig.

Volsig created the Tadpole Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Volsig, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Volsig, he will turn you into a worm.

Volsig's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Volsig's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine silver sculptures of Volsig on top of important buildings.

2. Always obey Volsig's priests.

3. Never feed grapes to squirrels while wearing rings.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not listen to music.