Monfudfarn is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, generous monkey.

Monfudfarn created a down quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Monfudfarn, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Monfudfarn, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Monfudfarn's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Monfudfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Monfudfarn.

2. Never go into pink rooms.

3. Never talk about black holes.

4. Do not sing in public.

5. Respect your elders.